remembering the past

To quote Miss Bee, "I must be taking to much fish oil lately", because I have been thinking of my past. It all started about a month ago when I had my birthday. You know now that I am old and wise I have been reflected on the good, the bad and ugly in my life.

I saw my best friend from high school on Sunday while taking a boat ride with my hubby and his best friend from high school. It was a weird passing. We on a boat staring at houses, and her visiting her mom from out of town.

We got to talk for 5 minutes and oh how I wanted to jump in the river and prop my feet up at her boat dock and catch up. Jared's best friend actually took her to prom our senior year. We double dated. I feel bad for his soon to be wife, who was defiantly the odd man.

My friend and I had our lives planned out back in high school. Yep we knew who we were going to marry and that we were going to be stay at home mom's with, maids, cooks, and drivers. We vowed to remain the best of friends for ever and ever. And then came college....

She off to another state and somewhere, somehow, the friendship cracked. We would randomly meet up at a party over the years, and remained enough of friends to be in each others wedding, but then well then I guess we had a falling out or we just stopped talking.

Through the years we have meet up trying to have a go at friendship again. It never takes.

Do you believe that God places you in certain places at certain times for a reason? I do....I think this random meeting might just have been a chance to rebuild a long lost friendship.

We have been emailing, and it feels great to talk with a old friend about new things.

Maybe getting old isn't so bad. Maybe you just start getting wiser about who is important and who isn't important in your life.

Hummm lot's to think about....

Jaw breaking moments....

Yesterday Miss Gabby got her braces put on. Here she is waiting patiently for the dentist. I thought we should get some last photo's of the before's.

As you can see the girl has some spacing issues. Those adult teeth have no room to come down. The orthodontist believes that braces on the lower teeth will straighten them out and an expander on the top will widen her upper jaw making more room for the teeth to fall down into place.

Each night I have this key that I must stick into the roof of her mouth and crank. Yes...I am virtually breaking my babies upper jaw bone each night. For the next 28 nights I get to expand her jaw. When we are done she will hopefully have huge gaps in between all the front teeth. Then for the next 6 months we wait for the jaw to heal and regrow. Then the front braces come on. We are considered long term patients and are only in phase one.

I must say that all Gabby has been talking about is getting braces. She is 7 and so excited. She thinks this makes her a "big" girl. I on the other hand wore braces for 4 1/2 years and kept think she isn't going to be excited when she gets them on. Well this morning after struggling with her breakfast, she says or should I say mumbles because she can barely talk anymore with the expander in "I don't know why I was so excited about these braces....this sucks."

Poor kid. And this is only the begin for her.

1-0

I did it...not really sure how in the 90 degrees heat, but I just won my first singles tennis match of the summer after a 4 month mini retirement. Boy do I feel great about this! I didn't just win I kicked that girl to the curb...6-2, 6-1 ! This just might have been the win I needed to make me want to get my tennis game back. You see, Cj has lost her groove.....

For those who don't know, at one time, many,many years ago I was a state medalist for my high school tennis team. I spent my first year of college on a tennis scholarship and had to learn the hard way that there is more to life than winning tennis matches. After a bad first year of college I transferred to a better school closer to my sweetie to play tennis but not for money. I loved playing tennis and golf in college. It taught me how to better manage my time and prioritizes things. I was on the 5 year college plan and played sports 4 out of the 5 years. I spent my 5th year student teaching so sports went on hold. After college I got my first coaching job at my former high school. I coached for several years quiting after I had my first child. When Gabby was 2 I started playing in an adult travel league. I found this super fun. All the clubs had nursery's so Gabby was always able to travel with me. Playing travel team tennis as an adult was a chance to relive my high school and college playing days. I loved every drill and match, that was until about 14 months ago.

An athletic I will forever be! As I continue to age and grow bigger and wider I find my athletic skills just don't match up with my body. I have now had 3 kids, but my mind thinks that my body should be able to still compete. At the level I was at when I was 18 years old.

Something along the way has just changed for me.....Tennis just hasn't been fun for me for the last year or so. I have have been searching high and low for answers. Is it me, my skills, the people, the management of the club? So after this years travel season, I decided to take a break and see if I missed it, or try to figure out why I was not having as much fun. That was 4 months ago.

I think one of my reason for needing a break might have been because I was looking for a way to test people around me. A way to test them without out them having any type of idea I was testing them. I think I have been trying to figure out who my friends are and aren't. I wanted to see if the tennis community would notice that I was missing if I just fell off the planet. It is funny, I don't even know why I care, but deep down I guess I do.

Here is what I have learned in my 4 months off:

~you can take the girl away from tennis, but you can't really take tennis away from the girl.

I am way to competitive of a person to walk away from tennis. Who was I trying to kid? Did I really think I could walk away and never look back? My win tonight took a lot of hard work and strategy to win. I had to dig down deep into that mental place in my brain, the one that only a true athlete can understand. At 2-2 in the 1st set I was losing my serve love-30. I had to overcome the fear, the heat, and myself, to win the game. I did, I came back to win and never looked back. I won the next 6 games, only to have a mental lapse at deuce. Then I proceeded to win the next 4 games. I can't walk away from that. I really don't think I can. Tennis is who I am.

I took a mini 4 month break looking for answer and I think all I did in the mean time was get out of tennis shape. I have a lot of ground work to make up to get back into the swing of it. I tried to abandon my need for tennis, but in the long run tennis never abandon me. It has been waiting patiently for me to return. Tonight I laced up my shoes and came out of my retirement....it felt amazing....I think I may be back.

Only if it were that easy, unfortunately there are a lot of politics that go into playing tennis on a travel team at a private club. It isn't always about who has the best forehand or backhand, sometimes it's about who is giving the coach the best blow job! So for now I can say, my decision about fall's travel team may just gotten a little more difficult. I may have realized tonight that I love the thrill of victory to much to walk away, but the real question is can I live with the fact that my skills will never advance me to the level I want to be at because there are way to many sluts that will do whatever it takes to move ahead? Only time will tell. This may be the quickest retirement on the planet.

But for tonight, I will only dwell on this moment...The sweet or should I say sweat taste of success! A win is a win and it feels GREAT!!!!!

It's here....

Boy oh boy summer came over night in the Midwest. After about 6 straight days of rain and 70 degree weather I think summer has finally came to visit Cambridge Drive. I think we have now had 3 days in the 90's! In celebration we have been hitting the pool hard. The kids and I love to do nothing but swim all day long. We have been biking to my parents house and swimming until around 7 pm each night. Gia has become a master of arm floats. She love jumping in and swimming to the steps. Bella is now arm floaty free and can jump off the diving board all by herself, and Gabby has mastered the dive. Swimming is great but tiring. I am a night owl who loves to stay up and surf the web, but now that I am the big 35, I am ready to hit the hay by 11. The housework and laundry are starting to back up but it is way to nice to be inside cleaning. Tomorrow's agenda is kids off to tennis, swimming with friends, Gabby swim practice, Jared softball, me my first singles tennis match of the summer. It is going to be a long day.

Enjoy these awesome days...you know I will

Wicked, baby, wicked

For my birthday my mother-in-law paid for my ticket to go see the Broadway show Wicked. It was a great little birthday weekend. The entire family went down to Jared's parents condo for a mini get away. Jared golfed with his dad and brother and I took the girls swimming. Then for the evening. Jared kept the girls and I went to dinner and the show. It was an all girls night. My best friend from high school, her mom, my mom, my mother in law and me.

The show was so great. Usually when I see a show I prepare by becoming familiar with the music ahead of time. But this time I thought I would try to go and only have minimal background knowledge. It makes it harder to take it all in when you don't know the music. Broadway shows are just so amazing. There is always so much going on. It is hard to know what to watch. I found it hard to watch and truly listen to the music. Oh but the music was excellent. I think I will be adding about 5 new songs to my I pod. I want to go again, but in the meantime I want to read the book and memorized the music so I can go and focus on the people, costumes and the stage. 2 thumbs up for me !!!

On Sunday we drove Gabby to yet another swim meet. This was her 1st time swimming in a 50 meter pool. Wow...that is all I have to say. 50 meter's is a super long way for a 7 year old to swim. All in all it was a great day. She learned to flip turn and her dive has improved so much. She will be beating me in no time at all.

The summer is off to a blah weather start. Today was the 1st day over 80. The forecast for the next 6 days show rain. Ughhhh :( The kids are really bummed that they have hardly swam at all.

My baby turns 2 tomorrow! I can hardly believe it. TWO!!! My favorite age from 18 months to 2 1/2 is slowly coming to an end and the terrible 2/3's are starting to get closer. This is normally the time we start to think about having another, unfortunately I think Jared is done. It makes me sad to think my baby days are almost gone. I've always wanted 4! It makes for 6 which is a nice good even number.

Happy Birthday baby girl, mama loves you!!!!

Happy Birthday to ....

Warning....this blog is extremely long winded!

You may need a cup of java, so sit back and enjoy my longest post to date about about a girl and her gift.....

Today marks the day that I am officially in the middle. Yep, today is my 35th birthday and I am now stuck in the middle of my thirties. Flat stuck, my thirties are slowly moving away. I think what concern me most about my age is not my age, but that the people whom I care about most are now in their sixties, and with every year I get closer to 40 they get closer to 70. But it is my birthday and I am not about to dwell on the ugly. No way no sir . . . instead I would like to share a favorite birthday memory. . .

1992, It was my 18th birthday. I had just graduated from high school. College had been selected my future all laid out in front of me. It was my time to live it up. I had been dating my prom date for about 2 months {for those that don't know, 5 years later I married that prom date}. Life was good...

So back to the gift, I bet you all think I am going to write about the gift the love of my life gave me ... well, sorry to disappoint . . . but my favorite gift that year was from my "pretend" grandma. Grandma Betty. She was one of the school secretaries at my mom's work and pretty much knew me from the age of five. She had a granddaughter that was 4 days younger than me. I use to spend many a mornings hanging in the office talking about my life while eating breakfast, finishing up school work or just vegging. Each year we grew closer.

I think God had a plan for us. She treated me like her granddaughter. I would hang out at her house and spend the weekends at her lake cottage. She would take me on bus trips to see plays and musicals. I couldn't spend enough time with her or Harold. Her husband Harold was like a grandpa to me too. My grandma's were older than most grandmas, both of them in there 70's and not super active, both widowed. Betty on the other hand was in her 50's and on the go all the time. I think Betty liked being with me, because it made her feel closer to her own granddaughter. At the time her real granddaughter was into hanging with her boyfriend not her grandma.

All through high school Betty supported me and loved me like her own. On our trips she would tell me about how she meet Harold and how much she loved him. I always knew they had a really special relationship. Being around them you could just feel the love. A quick peck on the check, a blanket for the couch. Even the quite times in the car. They just always had that look.

As a 17 yr old, I was always mature for my age, loved being around adults. Still do to this day. I swear on this. I have had always had a huge soft spot for older married people. Like the ones in that movie Cocoon, all those older married people who never want to die. You know the ones I am talking about. You can tell are still in love as much today as they were 50 years ago.

Gosh looking back at my life makes me kind of chuckle. It's funny to think I was a 17 year old who would have rather of hung out with Betty and Harold than any of my friends. Gosh, I hope my girls are like that in 10 years.

Sorry, I am losing focus and getting side tracked. But it is my birthday, so if I wish to ramble on I am allowed.

So back to the gift... On my 18th birthday Betty invited me over and said Harold and she had something they wanted to give me. Harold picked me up and drove me over to their house. He arrived with a big batch of flowers and a card. Inside the card was the most beautiful love letter written to me. It talked about how they have enjoyed watching me grow into a beautiful young women and wanted to give me something that came from the heart. When I arrived at their home Betty had a beautiful little wrapped box for me. Inside was a solitary diamond necklace set in white gold. I was speechless. Upon opening it, she carefully placed it around my neck and told me the history and reason for the gift.

To make a long story a little shorter, they preceded to tell me this was the first diamond necklace Harold ever bought for Betty. They decided that they wanted me to have it now and not when Betty died. They felt I understood what that necklace represented to them and I would give it a fine home.

Wow! The impact of that necklace and it's meaning are still being learned by me to this day. Each year on my birthday I realize what an awesome gift they gave me. The pride and love I feel when wearing it still is as strong today as it was 17 years ago.

As an eighteen year old I realized what a big deal this was, but now as a 35 year old I realize it even more. Harold died in 1997, a heart attack, sudden and quick. I was in college and was devastated. It was almost 3 months before my wedding. Betty never fully recovered. I don't think that is something you every get over, I think you just learn to cope. I was to consumed with graduating form college and my wedding, so I never fully realize her grief. I wasn't there for her like I should have been. It still remains one of my biggest life regrets. Our relationship is more distance now. I think when she looks in my eyes it brings up the pain of his passing all over.

If your wondering, we do still talk, it just hasn't been the same. About 5 years ago she married a nice man named Paul. He had lost his wife to cancer. They were a good match for one another. Betty was scared to tell me she was getting married again. I think she thought I would be disappointed. I wasn't, just happy that she wasn't alone anymore. Paul died last winter. A slow long death to cancer. Him dieing made me realize she isn't getting any younger. I believe she is now 80 or 81. Her age has scared me. I am not ready to lose her. Every year on her birthday I send her a card telling her how much I adore her and how important she has been in my life.

So today for my birthday I am buying her flowers and delivering them to her in person. And yes you guessed it, I am wearing the necklace.

Have a great day and while eating dessert wish me a silent happy birthday.

Sharkfest

This was our first weekend as swim parents at a two day meet. I am not sure who is more exhausted the parents or swimmers? We spent all day Saturday and Sunday at a outdoor swim meet. Between the 45 minute ride to and then from on both days and the rain. I was beat. It really is hard work to sit all day long and do nothing but cheer.

Lucky for me, on Saturday they were in need of more timers and I love timing. This was great for several reason, one as a timer you are up close and personal with those swimmers. And reason two, you get a break from watching child #2 and #3. I Love it... love it ...love it. [the timing that is, what kind of mother do you think I am? :) ]

Any ways, timing allowed me to get those up close shots of the Gabster.

Waiting there turn for the 100 Medly Relay. Gabby and Brittany. Brittany went on to win all around winner for the girls in the 8 and under.

Getting her "game on" face. She is totally in the zone.

Swimmers take your mark...and off she goes. She is the butterfly girl on the team. Oh how she loves the FLY!

Making the home stretch in her 100 Free.

Celebrating a 1st place in the 100 Medly Relay!


What a great weekend. Despite the rain, humidity and long car rides, we had a blast!
Gabby ended the weekend in 2nd place for her age group. We were really proud of her. She will get all her ribbons at her next practice. She is pumped. 11 events and 11 ribbons.

It is like reliving my sports youth all over again. I was always a wannabe swimmer, and now I can be a swim mom. Kind of the same thing don't you think?????

First Fridays

On Friday night we hit the downtown. On the 1st Friday night of each month the downtown in our city runs a program called First Fridays. For obvious reasons, it happens on the 1st Friday of every month. In the warmer weather months it is so fun to go to because they have so many outdoor activities to enjoy. It is nice to get out of the house and enjoy the warm weather and see people.

This month the courthouse had live music and family games. We took the crew and meet up with friends. We had a pizza picnic with pizza from our favorite locally owned restaurant. My friends own the pizzeria and it is also the place I work 2 nights a week. Luckily I had Friday off so I could enjoy all the activities.

After we stuffed our stomachs to the max, we headed down to Washington Street for the live music. One of my favorite bands was playing. The kids were dancing in the street. Seriously they were...

A great time was had by all. I love summertime. It was still light at 9:30pm, unfortunately the crews were getting tired so the night had to come to end. I can't wait until next month.

Hello weather God's are you there??? Part 2

The bike ride I promised.

A photo opt. moment at the neighbors.

Ms. shy shy, wouldn't look at the camera.

After a long bike ride, a snack of pretzels and peanut butter. Yummmmm

Maybe Mr.Sunshine will come out so we can play with him tomorrow.

Hello weather GOD's are you there???

Schools out for summer and apparently the weather God's did not get the memo. It is June 3rd, and the weather has not been above 65 degrees. We have not really seen the sun for days. Frankly this sucks. The weather has officially ruined Cambridge Drives annual end of the school year games and picnic day and now it is ruining the first day of summer vacation! We were suppose to have a huge celebration party with hot dogs, candy, games, water balloons, and more candy.

Due to the weather, the party was moved into the neighbors garage. All we were able to do is eat hot dogs and candy. Funny but not what was planned. I was so cold I wore my Ugg boots and had a blanket around my legs. By 4 pm the rain broke and we were able to at least get some balloons out.

 

The kids still had a fun time which is all we really cared about anyway.

Hello God are you there? It is me...sun lover! I have a request, you see, it is June and it is summer vacation, is it at all possible for a bit of sunshine and some warmer weather?

Ummmm apparently the communication lines are not working so well between me and the weather God's. Today it is just as cold only not rainy. The girls are dieing to get out and play. I am dieing for some peace and quite. Silly me promised a bike ride, but I find this weather much more suited for blogging and watching my Real Housewives of New Jersey. Luck for me I have DVR and can catch up on my TV addiction later tonight when the house is in never-neverland.

So until the sun appears, I will blog away. Below are some pictures of the last day of school.

Gabby's last day of 1st grade. Excited and sad is how she was feeling. That girl just loves school. She could hardly wait to see her report card and find out if she was passed on to second grade.
This is her waiting for the bus.

The neighbor girl is in 6th grade and will be a big junior higher next year. Gabby is very bummed that her favorite girl will no longer ride the same bus as her. Below they are together waiting one last time for the cheese wagon.

 

Half of the crew of kids waiting for the bus in the rain.

 

The big graduate after she got of the bus.

 

She is all smiles. I am happy to report the official report card stated...passed on to 2nd grade!!!

UPDATE...I do believe those weather God's are listening...the birds are starting to chirp and Mr. Sun is trying to break out of jail.

I see a bike ride in our future after all....

mommy's last day of freedom

Today is the last full day of school ... sigh ... hummm ... rejoice ... cry ... laugh ... obviously I am not sure how I feel about this. This is one tired mom. Tired of fighting at bedtime. Tired of fighting to get the chickadees out of bed in the morning. Tired of homework and routine. But boy oh boy I am just not sure I am ready to be a stay home mom of 3 instead of one. All the things I am tired of also represent the thing I love the most about the school year. Having three kids at home sure does change the dynamics of the household. Number 2 now has to re-adjust from being the oldest to now being the middle. Number one is use to being entertained all day long. Number three is no longer going to get all my attention. Oh the cat fights that are about to begin.

The girls and I have exactly one full week of nothing but free-time and then we are off to swimming, tennis and golf lessons. My life as a middle aged car-pooler is only getting ready to begin. My birthday is in less then 10 days and I am getting ready to hit the year where 40 is closer than 30. I have officially been a stay at home mom longer than I ever worked pre-kids. I have now been out of high school for 17 years and married for almost 12. Middle aged for sure.

Tonight is my 1st big meeting as incoming PTO President. Officially I take office July 1st, but unofficially there is some heavy business that must take place tonight or I will be resigning my position. Things are never easy. Especially the things that should be. When will people learn that those of us that are in charge are not the devil, but only making decision that we feel are in most people's best interest. I will either come home excited and pumped for next school year, or defeated and dreading what will end up becoming a big uphill battle. I am a little nervous and dreading the vote. I will certainly have to put my big girl pants on tonight and keep my emotions in check.

Welcome summer... (I think???) ...